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Post by guest on Jul 1, 2011 15:40:05 GMT -5
Pastor Mike... can both men and women both commit adultery? I ask this because I believe I have committed adultery and I am a women. I am not married, but I have slept with a married man. I am not proud of what I have done... I am very ashamed of it.
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Post by Mike Miller on Jul 3, 2011 8:55:32 GMT -5
When a married person has sex with someone other than his/her spouse, adultery has been committed. Both parties in the affair are guilty of adultery. Men who commit adultery are adulterers, and women who do so are adulteresses. So, in answer to your question, by your admission, you have committed adultery.
The good news is that Jesus died for adulterers and adulteresses. I'm glad you are ashamed. You should be. Now I hope you have repented of your sin and turned to Jesus. He stands ready to forgive and to cleanse you from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9). If you are in Christ now, you stand forgiven. God judges you based on the righteousness of Christ (Romans 8:1). So, once you come to Christ, you no longer have to carry the shame of past sins. He frees us from the penalty and the disgrace of what we have done.
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Post by beliefinmiracles on Jan 18, 2012 20:49:13 GMT -5
Admin: I am fifty separated from spouse number two ...whom I married before spouse number one died....but did divorce ...now living with future spouse number three . So since spouse number two was not possible with spouse number one living according to God . where does that leave me in my connection to God? spouse number two is not going to be in my life . separation has been since 2006...divorce will happen . so do I remain single and celibate? because future spouse and I are celibate. "nature enforced" ................Ok now even if I am clear future spouses first ex is still living and so is second.....How do we stay together and not be guilty of adultery ..............I already know we can't, man's law will let us eventually be married but not Gods ....So unless I out live future spouse ...my life includes adultery correct? My only fix is to live alone and never be a couple . never marry .Cause if its not gonna be this future spouse its not gonna be another .
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Post by Mike Miller on Jan 19, 2012 9:51:20 GMT -5
So . . . if I understand you correctly, you are married to one person but living with another? If that is the case, I urge you to end your current adulterous relationship and be reconciled to your spouse. If your spouse has committed adultery, and if there is no hope of reconciliation (after counseling and involving leadership within your church), then even though it is the last resort, divorce is permissible. If you have divorced because your spouse has committed adultery, then you are free to remarry. Otherwise, Scripture says you are to remain unmarried and celibate (Matthew 19:1-9). Regardless, however, while you are married to one person, you must not be in a romantic relationship with another.
It is very important for us to enter into marriage carefully--seeking God's will and receiving counsel from our parents and other godly people. God's plan is for marriage to last until death. Marriage is grounded in the triune nature of God and is a symbolic testimony to the relationship between Jesus and the church (Ephesians 5:22-33). For a Christian to divorce and remarry actually slanders Jesus by indicating that He is not fully committed to his people. The significance of marriage is profound, so the consequences of destroying a marriage are severe. God loves marriage, and we should too.
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Post by beliefinmiracles on Jan 19, 2012 14:30:16 GMT -5
okay so we live in sin cause the man I have to stick with is dead ? spouse two was married while spouse one lived ...so it was not possible to marry him in Gods eyes ...now spouse one is dead and you say I have to stick with number two ? whom I cant live with nor have been with in 6 years and number three can never be my spouse cause you say two is to be reconciled with ? ....it doesn't matter . I wont remarry and i wont be alone and I don't believe I can not love someone I am not having sex with . So I don' t get heaven . at what age and degree of Christianity does one get to know which spouse "God " picked for you ?.....where does it say Man never makes a mistake in choice of spouse ? what if it takes me 50 years to listen and get it right ? there are more than a few pastors out there who are living in adultery. I quit going to church in 1980 because the church I went to tried to force me to put my sleeping baby in the nursery .....do you think they ever think about what they did to me ? know who does ? God . from then to now I have left asking men for their interpretations of Gods thoughts because they are wrong . Native Americans have it right . Wish I could be Indian . thank you all the same .
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Post by Mike Miller on Jan 19, 2012 16:29:07 GMT -5
Dear beliefinmiracles. I'm afraid you have put many words in my mouth. To begin with, from your first question, I did not understand that you were not actually married to your second spouse since he was still married to someone else. You yourself said that "divorce will happen." I assumed that meant you were married. In fact, I'm still not sure if that's what you are saying. I'm trying to understand what you've written, but I'm finding it difficult.
I never said you could not get to heaven. I have re-read my comments and cannot find anything even close to that. We are made right with God only by faith in Jesus Christ--not by being good. If you will place your faith in Christ, you too will go to heaven. This discussion thread never once addressed that issue.
I also never said man does not make mistakes. We all make mistakes, and we all sin. However, there are consequences to our mistakes and our sins. Unfortunately, many people think they should be allowed to do whatever they want and not suffer any consequences. Many people marry badly. There are consequences to that. It has nothing to do with salvation or forgiveness, but God takes marriage and divorce seriously. In fact, He takes them way more seriously than we do. We like to say, "Well, I made a mistake, so everything should be fine now." Life does not work that way. So, in answer to your question, the Bible never says man doesn't make mistakes in marriage.
There are also no degrees in Christianity. One is either a Christian or not. We do grow and mature in Christ, however. Nevertheless, no matter how you look at it, Jesus' words in Matthew 19:1-9 are pretty straightforward. You ask about taking 50 years to get it right. Well, marriage is not something to experiment with until we perfect it. We get married, and we honor our vows. We say, "Until death do us part," and we keep our promises.
I'm sorry you had a bad experience in a church in 1980. But for the Christian, church is very important. If you place your faith in Christ, you will find a new life that will allow you to realize that nobody is perfect and that no church is perfect. You will also find the ability through the Holy Spirit to forgive those who have wronged you. And you will know that you need the church, so you won't abandon the church because of a negative experience. The church isn't perfect, but God saves us into a community of faith that is wonderful.
Now, as for you not asking for interpretations anymore, I'll just remind you that you asked me. I didn't start the conversation. If you came on this discussion board just to start an argument, then I am not interested, but if you are looking for answers, I am willing to help. I am not perfect, and I don't know everything. But I can tell you what the Bible says. Understanding Matthew 19:1-9 is not difficult. It's pretty straightforward. The difficulty is that many don't like what it says. However, if you don't like what Jesus said, your problem is not with me; it is with Him.
I do thank you for your questions, and I am praying that you will embrace Jesus and find the real life and wholeness that no person can give. Let me know if I can help.
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Post by Guest on Apr 21, 2012 7:46:50 GMT -5
Pastor Mike, if someones spouse has passed away, is it permissible in the eyes of the Lord for them to remarry?
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Post by Mike Miller on Apr 22, 2012 6:07:26 GMT -5
Yes. Remarriage after the death of a spouse is permitted in Scripture. 1 Corinthians 7:39 says, "A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord." The phrase "only in the Lord" reminds us that Christians are only to marry Christians.
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