salvation

[church member]

I guess I don't really know where to start... but here I go. I have been doubting my salvation. I believe I accepted Christ in college, but haven't really had a major change. I actually hit rock bottom shortly after accepting Christ and just have fallen into old habits that I did even before accepting Christ. I have also done mission work. I need help... I believe I am saved but don't know. I love God, but just don't spend time with Him at all. I don't pray much or read the Word much either. Life is just blah. How do I know for sure I am saved? I want to do the right things and spend time in His word, but just don't. It's like I don't care when I do. I want to change so much but I guess I don't really know how sometimes.

[Mike Miller]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for being willing to be honest and discuss this. I would imagine that others wrestling with the same doubts will read this. I will do my best to answer you here, and you can certainly come see me and we'll talk confidentially.

First, I think most, if not all, Christians have doubts about their salvation at some time. So the real question is whether you have truly been born again. How do we know. Unfortunately, today many people put way too much emphasis on an experience. What I mean is that when someone has a very emotional experience, they equate that with salvation, and then when someone doesn't "feel" something, they assume they haven't been saved. However, even though there are some dramatic experiences in Scripture, salvation is not always (not usually, in fact) accompanied by something spectacular.

You say you accepted Christ. What does that mean? Does it mean that you prayed a "sinner's prayer" or a "prayer of salvation?" Sometimes people put all their hope in a prayer, but interestingly we don't ever find people in Scripture "praying to receive Christ." Instead, people receive Christ by faith the moment they believe. So I would ask you this: did you come to the place in your life when you realized that you were utterly lost and condemned by God because of your sin? And did you realize that Jesus died as your substitute, taking all of God's wrath for your sin? And did you repent, turning from sin and embracing Jesus as your only hope for salvation, surrendering to him the absolute lordship of your life? And after that did you begin to grow in Christ (sometimes with setbacks), being convicted of sin and seeing change in your life? You see, what I've just described in those questions is what it means truly to be converted.

Salvation happens when the Holy Spirit awakens our dead hearts and gives us the faith to believe. When that occurs, we are what Jesus calls "born again." We have new life. The experience is different for everyone in the process and speed with which it happens, but true salvation is always followed by evidence.

Now, you say that you fell into old habits. That can happen to someone who is saved. In fact, my life didn't change at all when I first came to Christ. What did change is that I began to be convicted of my sin. I suddenly felt guilty for things I used to be comfortable with--and even proud of. This guilt was the Holy Spirit inside me. God was disciplining me and bringing me to repentance. It actually took some time, but God made me so miserable that I had to change my old ways before I really had the peace and joy of fellowship with Him.

The good news is that you know you are not where you need to be with Christ right now. That means one of two things. Either you never were truly saved, and now God is drawing you to Himself. Or you are saved, and God is convicting you and moving you to repentance. Either way, God is working in your life, and for that I rejoice!

If the former is true, then turn now and embrace Christ. Call out to Him, asking for salvation, and He promises that "everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved" (Romans 10:13). But to do that, you must be completely honest with Him. You will have to confess that you are not saved, that you have been living deceitfully, and that you will do whatever you need to do to follow Him.

If the latter is true, however, you must immediately repent of your sin, begin walking with Him daily, and live under His lordship. The important thing here is that changing is not about what we can do, it is about what He does through us. You must walk closely with Him and see Him doing the work in you. Changes cannot just be external, but they must come from a changed heart. So often people want to "accept Christ" then do it all themselves, but we need His grace every second.

Wherever you are in this journey, you need someone in your life that you are honest with. That can be me or someone else, but you need to come clean with someone so you can have some personal accountability.

One word of caution, however. If you are in need of salvation, you might be thinking, "I can't confess this to the church. I can't come again for baptism. I'm a church member, and everyone will think I've been dishonest." Please do not let your pride keep you from Jesus. I guarantee there are other church members in the same situation who are afraid to admit it. I pray that you will do whatever it takes to get right with God. Starting this discussion was an excellent first step.

Let me also point you to the book of 1 John. This little letter was written at a time when people were claiming to be saved because of some kind of spiritual experience, but there was no evidence. John talks about what it means to be truly saved and how we can know for sure that we are saved. And as you read 1 John, feel free to call with questions or post them here.

[church member]

As I sit here reading this I just don't know. When I prayed I just knew that I needed God in my life. I realized I was a sinner, but not that I was utterly lost without Him. I know Christ died for me on the cross for my sin, but never truly embraced Him and surrendered my all to Him. I think I just gave part of me if that makes sense. With change I wouldn't do something one day, but would turn around and do it the next day. The only change I know that I did was mission work. But then again, can you do mission work and not be saved? I don't even have a relationship with Christ. Now I just go to church. I mean when I accepted Christ I never really had a true quiet time either. I honestly can't even tell you when I truly dug into the Word. I look forward to reading 1 John. Thanks.

[Mike Miller]

You're welcome. And yes, you can do mission work without being saved. Charles Wesley labored as a missionary among the Native Americans for some time before his conversion. He wrote my favorite hymn, "And Can It Be" the night of his conversion. I am praying that you will find the answer you're looking for and truly experience a relationship with Jesus.

[church member]

Ok so I read 1 John 1... I am a little confused about vs 6. It says "if we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth." I am confused with this... does this mean if we say we have a relationship with him yet repeatedly don't glorify God with the things we do... we basically don't know him? Also in vs 9 it says "if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." In my life, there is things I have done that I believe God has forgiven me for, but can't forgive myself for. Is this possible and/or how can I forgive myself?

[Mike Miller]

Basically, yes. Verse 6 is saying that if we call ourselves Christians but live like non-Christians, we are liars. We cannot truly meet Jesus and be born again yet consistently live as lost people. This doesn't mean that we don't sin. In fact, this chapter teaches that we do sin. The difference is that the true believer will be convicted by the indwelling Holy Spirit and brought to repentance, while the unbeliever will simply continue life as usual.

As for the part about forgiving yourself, I personally believe the biggest issue is not really accepting God's forgiveness. If I have taken my sin to God and honestly believe that He has forgiven me, then there is no condemnation. Our problem is that we just don't believe God could truly forgive us, so we continually beat ourselves up. In other words, we forgive ourselves when we grasp the fact that God no longer condemns us. Romans 8:1 says, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Do you see that? NO CONDEMNATION. When I am in Christ, I am free, and when that gets into my head and my heart, I can live in that freedom.

[church member]

Ok. So I understand that we all sin. I don't even know now if I have felt conviction before with anything because I don't know. I just don't remember. I have just fallen so far away from God if I even had a relationship with Him before... all I know is that I continually do the same stupid stuff over and over. Does condemnation mean guilt? But if we can't forgive ourselves for things then we don't have Christ either right? I am trying to grasp all of this and will continue reading 1 John. Again thanks and thanks for your time.

[Mike Miller]

Ok. I have to say that I am compelled to urge you to cry out to God for salvation. I cannot possibly say that you are not saved. That is only between you and God. But when you talk of not understanding the conviction of the Holy Spirit, that concerns me greatly. It seems to me that God is actually convicting you right now of your need for Him. Perhaps you need to confess your lostness to Him and ask Him to save you as you call on Jesus as Lord of your life. Please do not delay in responding to His work in your life right now. I don't believe we would even be having this conversation if God were not drawing you to Him. Surrender to His grace.

[church member]

Wow. As I read this my eyes are just filled with tears. I have so many emotions right now... I just need this all to sink in. I am desparate and don't understand all of this. I get some of it, but am so lost at other parts.

[Mike Miller]

I understand. Call me if you need me. I know that others reading this are praying for you.

[aaron]

After reading the conversations about salvation, in the past I too have questioned my being saved, thinking that sometimes I keep sinking back into particular sins time and again," God must certainly grow weary of my faults." Then I heard a sermon on the life of David . I had heard this many times before but the pastor stated, "David did many despicable things as king but God still forgave him and still called him His favorite." It was then that it hit me that God forgives again and again no matter what has happened. My asking for forgiveness again and again, while continuing to try to stay the course and not repeat the same sins, is all God asks of us. All we need is faith in His forgiving our sins, His unlimited grace and mercy. My prayers go out to you for assurance in your salvation.

[church member]

I finished reading 1 John and have a couple questions. In 1 John 3:5-6 it says "But you know that he appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him." So basically with this verse it's saying that if we keep doing the same sin over and over then we don't know him? I don't understand this verse in 1 John 3:21-22 "Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we keep his commands and do what pleases him." Then in 1 John 5:3-5 it says "In fact, this is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only the one who believes that Jesus is the Son of God." But how do we overcome the world when we believe in Him and also still do the things of this world?

[Mike Miller]

Sorry to take so long in replying. I had 6 appointments yesterday in addition to having church last night. I'll now take your questions in order.

1. Yes, 1 John 3:5-6 is saying that people who are truly born again will change. If you have walked the aisle, prayed a prayer, and been baptized, but there is no change in your life, there has been no conversion. Again, we don't become perfect the instant we are saved, but we do begin to change. If you have seen no change in the years since your initial experience, that is an indication of lack of conversion. Becoming a Christian changes your life.

2. 1 John 3:21-22 is in the larger context of vv. 19-24, and this is talking about our assurance. There are times when our hearts condemn us because of our consciences (we feel conviction of sin), and there are times when that conviction is misplaced (we question whether God loves us or whether we are saved). At those times, we can look at our lives for our assurance. When we look at our lives and see evidence of true conversion--that we have increased in righteousness--then we can be certain of our salvation. He knows our hearts, and His love overcomes.

Secondly, we can have confidence in our prayers. Why? Because we are living in obedience to Him, and if we are truly obeying Him, then our prayers will be in line with His will (see also 1 John 5:14-15).

3. Yes, I still sin. I'm still living in the flesh and in a sinful world. However, because I am a new creation in Christ, and because His Spirit is living in me, I can overcome sin. Before Christ, I was a slave to sin. Now, through Christ, I am no longer a slave. I might still choose to sin, but I am capable of overcoming it. That's why it's ridiculous for people to say, "I'll accept Christ after I clean up my life." No, you can't clean up your life until you accept Christ. He gives us the power to overcome. Personally, I still sin, but I am a far cry from who I was before Christ. I have not made myself better, but He has made me so. I can be assured of my savlation because I see what He has done in my over the last 21 years, and I am astounded.

[church member]

It's ok. Thank you for your time. Just for reading what you wrote, I don't really believe I have had a true change. However, shortly after I accepted Christ I did mission work. I know you said before that someone can do mission work and not be saved. I literally do the same stuff I did before I believed I accepted Christ. I don't have much assurance about things these days. I can also say I really don't have confidence when I pray. But then again, I don't pray like I should or read the Word either. I understand everyone sins and none of us are perfect, but I know what I do is sinning, yet I go and commit to doing that sin regardless of the consequences. I just don't know and it upsets me that I am at this point and don't truly know if I have accepted Christ. It hurts.

[Mike Miller]

FYI--Church Member came to see me. She talked to me and some others before realizing that she was indeed lost. However, I'm glad to report that she has now accepted Christ and is born again into new life. Hallelujah! Thank you all for praying.