Raising Children in the world today!

[Tiff]

HI!
So as you can see from the subject above, I am seeking advice from those dealing with this issue or not who can let me in on the do's and dont's and all the insight of parenting children in Christian Homes!
How do you keep yourself from giving in to the ways of this world as it relates to your Kids without compromising your walk with the Lord? It seems hard enough to do it for yourself let alone with a mini you in this world who like it or not depends on you for that foundation and strength.
My child is entering in to the stage of outside influences and up until now I had total control over everything in her life and now reality has set in that hey Mom you are not the only person she is paying attention to. I have such a long road ahead of me with so much to learn and face! I know that much knowledge will come from my own experiences on this journey however, is there any pointers to pass along to someone early on to perhaps help them learn from your past experience!
I would love to put her in a bubble and never let her out but a day will come and she will go out on her own and let's face it we all have seen what blinders can do to those left to face this world we live in without proper awareness!

I did not grow up in a Christian House Hold which makes this all the more challenging!

let me know what you think!!!!!!!!

[Mike Miller]

Well, this probably isn't the kind of answer you were looking for, but I have two things to say:

1. Prayer.

2. Trial and error.

I know you'd rather have a set of instructions, as I know I would, but it just doesn't work like that. Of course, there are some general principles, such as: teach them Scripture, don't just expect the church to do it; pray with and for them; take them to church; model the Christian life, being transparent with your own failures. However, each child is different, and no parenting style seems to work across the board. That's why we first have to be going to God constantly, trusting that he will direct us (Proverbs 3:5-6).

And remember that you will make mistakes. I make them regularly, and every parent I know (who is honest) admits to messing up. But we learn from those mistakes. You know, I wish I knew then (when our oldest was young) what I know now, but then again, I still get it wrong at times.

What we don't want to do (what I tried in vain to do) is to be legalistic. Every situation you face will require prayerful consideration. For example, I made the rule that my kids could only watch movies rated G or PG. But, good grief, some rated G movies promote horrible worldviews, while I have seen some PG-13 movies that I thought were just fine. I also used to say, "Only Christian music." But there is some "Christian" music that contains terrible doctrine, and some secular music that is really ok in my opinion. The point I'm trying to make here is that there aren't hard and fast rules for every situation, every decision. One thing we should do is try and teach our kids to think biblically, and a list of rules won't help them with that.

My advice--advice that I try to follow--is this: Pray hard, do your best, admit when you've messed up, love your kids unconditionally, and pray hard. And all this while endeavoring to teach them to follow Jesus.

Oh, and one more thing I will add: Be the parent. I regularly hear parents say that they want to be friends with their kids. No, you are not called to be their friend. You are called to be the parent. That means rules (not legalism, but expectations and limitations), boundaries, and discipline. Yes, they will dislike you at times, and yes, they will get mad at you. It hurts, but they will get over for it. And in the end, they will be better people, and they will love and respect you more.

Well, there it is. I'm just one guy trying really hard and blowing with some frequency. But hang in there. We're all struggling to get it right. I'm looking forward to seeing what others have to say.

[david76]

admin said:

Oh, and one more thing I will add: Be the parent. I regularly hear parents say that they want to be friends with their kids. No, you are not called to be their friend. You are called to be the parent. That means rules (not legalism, but expectations and limitations), boundaries, and discipline. Yes, they will dislike you at times, and yes, they will get mad at you. It hurts, but they will get over for it. And in the end, they will be better people, and they will love and respect you more.

I just wanted to quote this for emphasis. I have seen examples of this in every church I've ever served. This is also a trap Youth Ministers can fall into. It's fun to be popular, and "cool", and what not, but striving for those things with your children, typically means losing your authority. Your children don't need more friends. They have friends. They need parents. Even when they don't realize it.