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Post by bookworm on Jun 13, 2012 8:21:26 GMT -5
Pastor, I read a very interesting (thought-provoking) blog this morning and 1) wondered if you had seen it and, 2) if you would please share some thoughts? A devout Mormon man has been married to a wonderful woman for 10 years and they reveal to his blog followers that he has same-sex attraction: www.joshweed.com/2012/06/club-unicorn-in-which-i-come-out-of.htmlThank you, Kyara
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Post by Mike Miller on Jun 13, 2012 15:53:26 GMT -5
Hmmm. Well, I read the blog post, and it is indeed interesting. I'll just make a couple of comments, but first, let me summarize for those who have not read it and who don't want to take the time to read it since it is fairly long.
Josh Weed is a counselor who has been married to Lolly for 10 years. They have 3 beautiful daughters. Josh is only physically attracted to men. He is not attracted to women. Nevertheless, he and Lolly both say they have a wonderful marriage. He says their sex life is healthy and robust and satisfying. He does not have sex with men. Josh is also a deeply committed Mormon who is in full agreement with the Mormon position that marriage is a life-long relationship between a man and a woman. He says that to be a gay person committed to the Mormon church means that he has to sacrifice any sexual relations with men in order to be true to his beliefs. He says that he is a very happy and well adjusted person. Oh, and Lolly has known Josh was gay since before they started dating as teenagers.
First, let me commend Josh and Lolly for a few things. According to their testimony, their marriage is strong because they love each other and are deeply committed to each other. I also agree with Josh that sex is about more than physical attraction. At it's deepest level, sex is about intimacy. He says this about sex: "It is a beautiful physical manifestation of two people being connected in a truly vulnerable, intimate manner because they love each other profoundly. It is bodies connecting and souls connecting. It is beautiful and rich and fulfilling and spiritual and amazing. Many people never get to this point in their sex lives because it requires incredible communication, trust, vulnerability, and connection." I agree, even though I would not completely deny visual attraction as an important factor. Josh and Lolly are deeply committed to their faith and to each other, and they seem to be well-adjusted.
Let me also say that merely having attraction to the same sex is not in itself sinful. The desire to sin is not sin. Temptation to sin is not sin. I have known of people (a few personally) who have same-sex attraction, but they do not act on it. Some are committed to celibacy, and some are married happily. We all have inclinations to particular sins, but the inclinations are not the sins. When attraction turns into lust or action, it is sinful. If Josh is not lusting after men--having his mind preoccupied with thoughts of sex with men--and if he is faithful physically to Lolly, then he is not sinning any more than a man who is attracted to women but is faithful to his wife with his mind and body.
Where Josh goes wrong, however, is that while he agrees that marriage is to be between a man and a woman and that children should have a mother and a father (and he wanted a family), he apparently sees nothing wrong with people who forego family life and instead embrace a homosexual lifestyle. He seems to affirm homosexual tendencies acted upon, though I get the impression he would not condone a man cheating on his spouse. His idea is that as long as a person is true to himself, then he is okay. That would go against both Mormon and Christian doctrine.
I'm really not comfortable opining on Josh personally, since he is not a Christian, but I do know Christians who struggle with same-sex attraction. Sometimes God delivers them from those desires, but sometimes He does not. Nevertheless, whatever our sinful tendencies are, we who follow Jesus are called to walk in holiness, not letting sin master us.
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