Double-minded?

[another church member]

Mike, I have been brought up in church, and I had an experience when I was 14 that I have always considered "salvation." I remember feeling free, and excited about reading my Bible and going to church. I went to a Christian college because, among other reasons, I felt like that was where "God wanted me to be." I read and pray and attend church regularly, and am involved at church as well, but I still wonder, what if I am wrong? Shouldn't there be some way to really know that you know that you know? What if everything I have "believed" turns out to be false? If God is there and Jesus is risen and the Spirit moves, why is faith so hard and devotion reduced to reluctant obedience to the "shoulds" and "ought-to's?" I rode out my first hurricane last week and am struggling with exactly how small my faith is, and wheather or not it is really faith or just family tradition. Any insights for the double-minded?

[Mike Miller]

Well, let me begin by saying that everyone goes through dry periods and even doubts. I once had a professor who said that whenever anyone tells him they have never had any doubts, he asks, "Have you ever had any thoughts?" Everyone wrestles with doubt and crises in their faith at some time--even if they won't admit it.

This is particularly true for those who came to Christ at an early age. Was it really you, or was it something your parents wanted you to do? What you are experiencing, whether you are saved or not, is perfectly normal.

Next, I want to say that what you're going through is a good thing for several reasons. First, at some point, your convictions must become your own, and not just those of your parents. For that to happen, you will certainly have questions and doubts. Second, your faith becomes deepened the most when it is challenged. You need to decide if what you believe is real or not. Any faith that won't stand up to the challenge is not a faith worth having. Third, God is obviously working on your heart or you wouldn't even have these thoughts. So, if you are saved, He is about to deepen your faith. If you are not saved, He is convicting you of your lostness. Either way, that is a good thing. So, I think you're in a good, albeit difficult, place right now.

Now, let me address some of the things you wrote. For one thing, our faith cannot be reduced to emotions. Sometimes I "feel" saved. Sometimes I don't. Read the Psalms. The psalmists (such as David) had times of spiritual exuberance and times of spiritual dryness. Such is the Christian life. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it doesn't. Don't put your faith in emotions. If you're in a really dry place right now, reflect on those times when you saw God moving in your life.

Next, is there some way to "know that you know?" Yes, and those things are objective. I suggest you read 1 John. There John refutes some folks who were basing their salvation on some purely emotional experiences. He writes of how we can "know that we know Him." Four questions you can ask yourself:

1. Am I obedient? 1 John 2:3-6. Nobody is perfect, but to the best of your knowledge are you attempting to be obedient to all you know God has commanded you to do? If so, why if you are not saved?

2. Am I different? 1 John 3:5-6; 5:18. Again, this is not about perfection, but has there been a pattern of change in your life? Of course there will be setbacks as well as times of great growth, but throughout the time you have been saved, has there been progression? Are you more like Jesus than you once were?

3. Am I loving my brother? 1 John 3:14, 18. Are you able to love others, especially the unlovely? Or do you get mad easily and carry grudges? Real Christians have love for one another.

4. Am I filled with the Holy Spirit? 1 John 3:24; 4:13. Now, this is partly subjective. Are you in fellowship with the Spirit? Have there been times when you know the Holy Spirit has led you, comforted you, or convicted you of sin? But more objectively, are you exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23)? Yet again, no one is perfect, but Christians should see these things present and growing in our lives. Do you?

If your answer to all of these questions is "no," then that is a huge warning sign. But if you can see these things to some degree in your life--over the course of your life--then the only explanation is genuine salvation. Only you and God know the answer.

And finally, the Christian life is not just about "shoulds" and "ought-to's." Realistically, sometimes that's all we have--especially in those dry times. But when our walk with the Lord is good, "His commandments are not burdensome" (1 John 5:3). When we are in Christ, we have freedom--not the freedom to sin--but freedom from the law. That means that we no longer have to follow rules, but we now have a new nature that enables us to do the things that please God. Sometimes, when we are struggling, it is hard to be obedient. But when our relationship with Jesus is right, obedience is easy and joyful.

Hope I've helped. If not, feel free to write again. And of course, you can come see me anytime.

[another church member]

Well, I was checking out the posts today and remembered this one that I had posted a few months ago. THought you might be interested to know that, yes, God is about to seriously test my faith. My life circumstances have changed in a couple of ways which are going to either draw me closer to Him, or maybe push me off a cliff? (THat was supposed to be funny) It would be nice if there were a few months where there were not major life changes...since Katrina it has been non-stop. In any case, I never did thank you for the answer you gave, so, Thanks.

[dannydaniels]

To another church member guest,

I don't see God pulling or pushing you in one way or the other. It appears you are abdicating responsibility by putting it on God. Sure God leads, directs, observes and answers prayer. You can run but you can not hide (Adam was the first one to try that move.)

So, assume a little responsibility for what goes on in your life. No one will ever be in total control but God did say he would always be there whether you realize it or not.

[Mike Miller]

Yes, you must take responsibility, and I see you doing that. God does push and pull. He is God and will do whatever pleases Him.

Also, I don't see you trying to hide. I see you trying to make sense of things. Stay faithful, and keep your eyes on Him.