Pastors and divorce

[nathan]

Dr. Miller, do you think it is ok for a man who has been divorced to pastor a church?

[Mike Miller]

The short answer: it depends. In other words, I do not believe that divorce automatically disqualifies a man from pastoral ministry. Let me elaborate.

Some have seen a blanket exclusion of anyone with a history of divorce from serving either as pastor or deacon based on the words in 1 Timothy 3 that they must each be the "husband of one wife" (which can also be translated "man of one woman"). Let me explain how proper exegesis of this text shows that this is not a prohibition against divorce. To begin with, divorce is never mentioned. If this means that a person can only have ever been married to one woman, then widowers who have remarried are also excluded. "But," someone will say, "this doesn't refer to widowers, but to divorce." I would then ask how that is derived from the text. Since divorce is never explicitly mentioned, for a man to have only been married to one woman in his life, then we must also exclude the widower--unless it can be shown contextually that divorce and remarriage is being singled out. I don't see how that can possibly be the case. In addition, if this is about divorce, then at face value, a divorced person can be a pastor or a deacon as long as he doesn't remarry, since he would not have have had more than one wife. I've yet to find anyone who would argue for that position, however.

Nevertheless, some will argue that this applies to divorce because of the high value the Bible places on marriage and the strong biblical stance against divorce. But let's consider that for a moment. Does the Bible condemn divorce stronger than other sins, like say fornication, homosexuality, or murder? No, but those who hold to the position that divorced men are excluded typically don't exclude former homosexuals or men who have had numerous sex partners or men who have cohabited without getting married or even murderers. That's right, you could have killed people and lived with several women, and you can be a pastor. But if you got married when you were 18 years old and serving in the military, and if your young bride left you for another man while you were deployed, and if you came to Christ when you were 25, married when you were 30, and have been faithfully married for 20 years, then you can't be a pastor or deacon. Does that line up with what we see in Scripture? I think not.

Therefore, I see nothing in the text itself that excludes all men who have divorce in their past. And I see nothing in the rest of Scripture to support that idea. So, what does it mean that a man should be "husband of one wife?" I think the best way to take it is in the plain sense meaning. Are you faithfully married to one woman (are you a one woman man?)? Then you might or might not be qualified to be a pastor or a deacon. However, there are other character qualifications. When we take them all together, I think we can reach some good biblical conclusions. The way I apply this is that men don't have to be married (I don't see "husband of one wife" as a marriage requirement), but single men must be morally pure, and married men must exemplify a healthy, biblical marriage. In other words, if a guy has been divorced 5 times and is now on his sixth wife, I would probably exclude him, but if a man was divorced years ago and has been faithfully married (or single but sexually pure) for a significant amount of time, as long as he is called and meets the other requirements, I will consider him for ordination or calling to a staff position. If a guy is recently divorced, then I would probably ask him to wait a while for a period of healing and examination, but the circumstances of his divorce will be a huge factor in consideration.

So, to recap. I do not see Scripture prohibiting all divorced men from being pastors or deacons. I think we should examine each man on a case-by-case basis. What are the circumstances? What is their marriage history? What is their marriage currently like? Then, as we look at this and all other qualities, I think we will be ordaining some divorced men to these positions (in fact, I have and will continue to do so).