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Post by dannybouysou on Dec 24, 2010 6:19:49 GMT -5
When a member of the deacon body of a sister church slanders you in a meeting attented by fellow Christians some of which are your personal friends what are some appropriate responses? This incident is part of an ongoing effort effort said person to assassinate one's character and integrity. His pastor has taken the leadership position of avoidance of the issue hoping it will simply go away.
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Post by dannybouysou on Dec 28, 2010 6:40:53 GMT -5
Unfortunately, not much is accomplish by avoidance. Ask any married couple living under the same roof about that. Transparency helps. I found, also ,that it is impossible to pray for someone and dislike them at the same time. Maybe, that is because God sees the good in all of his children even when we do not appear like a likable person to others.
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Post by Mike Miller on Dec 28, 2010 10:38:05 GMT -5
Brother, I would advise following biblical protocol for someone who has sinned against you (Matthew 18:15-17). I would approach the person one-on-one, urging repentance and restoration (doing so with gentleness according to Galatians 6:1). If he will not repent, you should take one or two with you. If he will then not listen, he should be brought before the church.
Now, since you are no longer in that church, this will be difficult. I would suggest talking to the guy alone, and you must be willing to see and admit any fault you might have had. Then, if you must, take a person or two from that church with you--someone you trust. Ideally, one of them might be the pastor. The goal here is restoration, and taking someone before the church is a last resort. However, since it is no longer your church family, that might not happen anyway. If you confront the man alone and then with others, and if he still does not repent--and if that church is unwilling to deal with the situation--then your only recourse is to pray for him, love him, and be kind to him. Ultimately, you must forgive him whether he repents or not.
Since I am now your pastor, if I can help in any way, I will be glad to. Give me a call if you want to talk about it.
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Post by dannybouysou on Dec 29, 2010 4:42:48 GMT -5
Pastor Mike,
Thanks for you reply and thanks for your willing to help. Unfortunatey, I have in my 55 years as a part of the Body of Christ, have encountered men called to be pastors who have allowed the business aspect of their position of leadership to result in their unfortunate position of avoidance in this area of their ministry, avoiding what God has called them to do as a pastor or shepherd of the flock. Who suffers here, we all do, even those observing from the sidelines. Generally, I find this sad, personally and I find this of much concern with regard to the health and well being of the Body of Christ. It has gone on much to long and I have even thought of you as my pastor approaching my former pastor about this.
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