letting go

[L6]

So bro. mike... I was just wondering if you had any advice on how you should let things go in life? Meaning, things of your past... No matter how much I want to let go of these things and just forget them, I can't. I want to move on in life and become a better person, but my past is holding me back and I don't want that. I want something better and I want to do the things God has in store for me. I know I am missing out on so much because too I haven't sought God like I should me. I am missing time with Him daily and it's hurting so much. So please help me if you can. Thanks.

[Mike Miller]

L6, it would be nice if there were an easy 5-step formula I could give you, but alas that is not the case. The problem, however, is that we keep trying to let go. You say, "I can't." I say you're right. YOU can't. So often, as believers, we acknowledge that we are saved by God's grace through no merit or effort of our own. Yet, then we begin thinking that the Christian life is all about how hard we try. The fact is that it is all by God's grace. It is impossible for me to let go and overcome my past. But it is not impossible for God, and I need Him to do a supernatural work in me to get beyone it. This is why I would encourage you not to look to yourself to let go, but to look to God to free you from your past. When Paul is talking about wrestling with sin in Romans 7, he says, "Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Then in Romans 8:1, he says, "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." You are no longer condemned by God, and to live in the freedom of that realization, you must constantly surrender yourself to His grace. This means that you must have daily exposure to God's Word, and you must daily ask for His grace to overcome whatever is holding you back. Confess to Him that you are unable to let go . . . then plead with Him to take whatever it is from you. You cannot do it, but He is more than able (Ephesians 3:20-21). The bottom line is that letting go will be an act of God's grace and not your own effort (tune into my message this Sunday about God's grace).

I also want to comment on one other thing you said. You say you want to forget the past. That is not likely to happen, but that is not a bad thing. God will use your past--even your sins--for His glory in your current life. While your past shouldn't hold you back, it is part of your testimony of God's grace. Don't run away from your past. Surrender it to God for His glory.

Don't know if I've helped, but please know that I am praying for you.

[L6]

Thanks. That helps, however, I don't think I truly understand what grace is and what it means. It's just so hard to because it's like I have constant reminders of my past almost daily in life. But God is good.

[gparker]

Hey L6,

I hope you don't mind me responding. I'm not a Preacher just a born again sinner. This morning I read you post and have been praying for you all day. I have been where you are now, have cried many tears onto my pillowcases over it and will probably be there again. Hopefully though not as bad as before.

Although I have never met you I have to say that I am very proud of you. You want to let go of that guilt and are trying to. The good news? It WILL happen. The bad news, kinda. In God's time not yours. For a long time I felt like I had accepted God's forgiveness but, the problem is I just never forgave myself. I kept dwelling, and dwelling on it till it made me so upset, and the even worse part, like you said I was losing time with God. One day it kinda hit me that it was the mean old devil hitting me in one of the spots where I was the weakest so he could have his way and I wouldn't be spending the time with God like I wanted. So what's the miracle cure? God of course, you already know that. And one of the problems I think we have as Christians is that we want to have real time with God everyday. When it doesn't happen like we want it to we freak out and lay more blame and guilt on ourselves and compare ourselves to others and think we're not good enough. My advice, forgive me if it's a little off color, put a Bible in your bathroom. Put a pair of glasses in there too if you need it. If your a lady put a small Bible in you purse, guy in your pocket, car etc.. You may not get a long study time with God each day like you want but, boy those little ones add up too.

A big source of comfort to me has been Romans 5:1-11. It talks about rejoicing in your sufferings. From that you'll get perseverance, character, and hope. God's not going to put you through this fire without you coming out refined on the other end.



Brother Mike is so right in everything that he said. I really like the last paragraph where he talked about your past being part of your testimony. Your past is there because God wants it there and He will let you use it to help someone out someday for His wonderous glory. He sure has me. Be proud of yourself! You want time with God!

Thanks for listening. Rereading this I realized that God has already let you use your hurt to help someone else, me. Thanks for letting me confess this.

gp

[Mike Miller]

About forgiving yourself. I really think that is all about faith. The problem is that we don't easily accept God's forgiveness. We don't really believe that He has completely released us from our guilt. It just seems impossible. It's like if I were to do something bad to someone, and they forgive me, but then I keep trying to make things right. They keep telling me it isn't necessary, but in my mind I just can't accept that they have truly forgiven me. And why? Because we don't easily forgive. We hold grudges, so we expect others--and God--to as well. We must take God at His word, however. 1 John 1:9 says that God is faithful and just. He will keep His word. We just need to believe Him so that we can live in the freedom of the grace He so freely gives(Romans 3:21-26). Trust God. He has forgiven you. You need to believe Him and accept His free gift.

[gparker]

I totally agree with what you say about faith. And I know a number of people who have said they felt that. With me it was a little different. I was raised in a house where no one forgave. I don't think we were ever taught that. So many of them still don't. I knew as a child that the only one who would ever forgive me and always love me was God. I remember hearing a Preacher say one time that if I wanted God to forgive me, I had to forgive. That was it. I started praying so hard to be able to forgive because I wanted Christ more than anything in the world.

Your post made me laugh because I saw myself in it. I have a very dear friend (who will probably read this) who I have hurt on too many occassions (Sorry honey) I have apologized so much that then I had to apologize for my apologizing. I still do it. I can't rest until I feel like the person (all persons) and I are ok again. I know that I can lose a person's friendship. And thanks, maybe I wouldn't feel that way if I was able to forgive more quickly and completely.

God is so much easier. He is faithful and just and no matter how stupid I am (which is pretty stupid) He just goes on loving me and forgiving me. How do I ever do enough to repay Him?

[Mike Miller]

You don't. We don't "owe" God anything, and we aren't required to repay Him. If we did it wouldn't be grace. Isn't that cool?

[gparker]

Totally cool.

[butterfly]

Thank you for this conversation. I too am dealing with things from my past - not of my doing. I think and believe I've forgiven those from my past, but my mind brings memories up to remind me. The holidays are more difficult times because of the family gatherings, which mean I have to deal with a specific person. It is a constant battle to keep my brain with Phil. 4:8 thoughts.